I sanctioned Venezuela and all I got was this lousy T-shirt

Caracas Chronicles

oriente20_obama-deroga-yaDear underpaid intern at the State Dept. who is stuck on the Venezuela desk and has to file reports about the BRV’s response to the president’s Executive Order,

I feel for you.

In the scheme of things, with Putin issuing nuclear threats to Denmark, ISIS spreading terror like it’s ebola, and China’s looming financial domination of your country, who has time for a shitty, if colorful, dictatorship? For the longest time, Venezuela was just an inconsequential blip on your  Latin American radar, the place Juan Valdéz and Sofía Vergara came from…and now President Obama had to go and make it all important and newsworthy.

I’m sure all the silly exchanges initiated by our Foreign Ministry, which you’re professionally bound to act as though you took seriously, make for great dinner table chatter: just the stuff to show your parents just how kooky your job can be. Never mind you’re silently fuming about how your $140k Georgetown School of Foreign Service degree should’ve somehow…

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